New Year’s Resolutions
Happy New Year from all of us me here at Dad Central. In this awesome post of exceptional guru-dom, I reveal the perfect one-size-fits-all New Year’s Resolution! It’s easily achievable, can be adopted by anyone and lowers ones expectations to the point where they are already met.
Spyros the Spartan
Welcome to the first post in the “Dads Through History” series. Here you will meet a range of dads from various periods in history and gain a poignant insight into their burdens, bowling averages and extracurricular hobbies. Learn about Darwin’s pros and cons for marriage and kids, which super hero would make the best dad and, something I certainly think would be useful to know, who would win in a death match between Alexander the Great’s dad and Simon Cowell’s dad. Today though, lets meet Spyros the Spartan.
Stain Removal for Dads
Having kids introduces a host of new potential stains into your cleaning regime which, let’s face it, before the wife and kids consisted of crotch, teeth and car. Your single life stains were limited to beer, natural emissions and … drips, nothing really that wouldn’t take care of itself after being left to dry / biodegrade on its own, walked over repeatedly, or covered. For any really dramatic spillages you, like the millions of men around you, had independently arrived at the same ultimate solution: turn shit over.
24 Lessons For Dads
You are thinking, “OMFG, 24 dad tips in one post! That’s serious value for … no money. Dumbass blogger, why doesn’t he do one tip per post then he would have 24 posts!” Sorry to disappoint but I am writing about the TV show.
My wife and kids have left to visit family, leaving me alone to finish up some work for some important “deadlines”. So, I did what every dad does when he scores a little man time…got the box set of the latest season of “24”, enough popcorn and banana milkshakes to have a quarter of a per cent effect on the commodities market and now, 24 hours later, I have some comments.
A Dad’s Guide to the Three Trimesters of Pregnancy
So, you are about to become a dad. Eager? Nervous? Nauseous? Whatever’s going on, you must have loads of questions about your pregnancy! Are you radiating a delirious contentedness or did you wake up in a foreign country clutching an empty bottle of Jack Daniels, after hearing your wife /partner / one night stand say, “late again honey, I’m sure it’s nothing.” Whatever your situation, forewarned is forearmed. So here is a brief guide to a dad’s journey through pregnancy.
Hairy balls, choosing nappies and a Totally Genius Observation
History.
Around 100,000 years ago, after homo erectus had their asses kicked by the Neanderthals, a knuckle-dragger, who we believe was named Walter, made one of the most remarkable advances in human history. An advance on par with those great discoveries which have nudged humanity forwards; the wheel, electricity, wives and pina coladas.
Making Love During Pregnancy
Love making during pregnancy apparently cannot hurt your baby. That’s the official line anyway. At some point every man in the world with a pregnant partner has exactly the same vision. The little baby develops its little baby eyes and the first thing it sees is daddy’s penis, coming at it like a bald, freaky circus clown being fired from a canon.
Conversation with my 3 year old daughter.
Very few newbie parents are pre-equipped with the verbal skills required to successfully navigate through a discussion with a toddler. The deployment of a full arsenal of top level debating skills needs to be combined with non-contact, offensive psychological target attenuation and razor sharp cognitive existential awareness. The stakes are high and when things go wrong… it can get ugly.
Parental Development: father having a baby parenting
by Jonathan
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Raised by Amateurs!
To fix a toilet and a drain you need a certification. To drive on the roads, work as a personal trainer and to offer your services as a canine masseur, you need a certification. But to make a baby and be responsible for its material and psychological health for nearly two decades, you don’t need any formal training or Health and Safety reviews! Help, we are being raised by amateurs!
Parental Development: Baby child development developmental stages Toddler
by Jonathan
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Father / Child Development
For the ladies: As your gorgeous bundle of delight develops through their early years, it seems like the endless giggles and chortles of merriment, twinkling, glimmering, nay racing by, are paralleled by a curious change occurring with the semen-donor guy. Look in on him, will ya.
